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Have you ever wanted to go on a cruise? - (The Poseidon Adventure) - (Titanic) Have you ever had a problem with mice? - ( Willard ) Have you ever woke up with a hangover from drinking too much wine? - (The Grapes of Wrath)Īre your landscapers suspicious looking? - ( The Texas Chain Saw Massacre ) Have you ever had a visitor that just didn't know when to leave? - ( What About Bob? ) - (Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?) Have you ever been worried about your kid's performance while at college? - ( Animal House )ĭo you have to take a bus to get to work? - ( Speed ) Have you ever worried about your daughter's first date alone with a boy? - ( Girls Gone Wild )ĭo you like to pick wild flowers? - ( Day of the Triffids ) Have you ever wondered if you'll be able to afford to send your kid to college? - ( Mission: Impossible ) Have you ever seen a fat person climbing out of a swimming pool? - ( The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms )ĭo any of you women find yourself attracted to men in uniform? - ( The Cable Guy ) (An Officer and a Gentleman) Have you ever visited the Aviary at the zoo? - ( The Birds ) Have you ever gone out to eat at a new Italian Restaurant? - ( Attack of the Killer Tomatoes ) Have you ever noticed how life seems to imitate art? Or is that art imitating life? More specifically, have you ever observed how life imitates the movies? Or is that the movies imitating life?įor example, I am sure most of you have thought about buying a house. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.īakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
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Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.Ī midget fortuneteller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.Ī lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.Ī boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
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Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.Ī chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.) When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.Ī bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.Ī man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.ĭancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.Ĭondoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
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Those who enjoy the intricacies of language and a good pun should like these.Ī man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.